Gay Marriages in the Church

While on a trip to Tanzania, an American pastor of a mainstream denomination, said that he wished his denomination would allow him to perform gay marriages and to ask God’s blessing on the couple’s relationship.

One church website which offers gay marriage ceremonies wrote, “We can’t be certain what Jesus would have us do regarding offering marriage to all couples, as there is no record of his thoughts.” The statement continued, “the primary message throughout Christianity is unconditional love for all.” It goes on to say, “we feel it is better to choose love and inclusiveness rather than to close our doors to some of His flock.”

It is my understanding that the Bible is inspired by God, all of it. Paul wrote in 2 Tim. 3:16-18, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” So whether Jesus spoke on the subject of gay marriage or not, if any part of the Bible speaks on the subject, then it is authoritative. The Bible is authoritative whether the passages were written by Paul, James, John, Moses or Jesus.

If you can’t trust part of the Bible, can you trust any of it? Of course, the Bible has to be correctly interpreted. Paul tells us in 2 Tim. 2:15, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” Some leaders have misinterpreted the Bible to justify slavery and other sins.

The Bible declares that stealing, murder, kidnapping, drunkenness, etc. are sins and should not be tolerated, let alone encouraged or celebrated. Homosexual behavior is listed among these sins (Gen.19:1–13; Lev.18:22; 20:13; Rom. 1:26–27; 1 Cor. 6:9; 1 Tim.1:10).

Let’s take a look at the New Testament passages that deal with homosexuality.

Romans 1:26-27, “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another.

I Cor. 6:9-11 “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men, nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

I Tim. 1:9-10, “We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine.”

Unless we are misinterpreting these passages, or the Apostle Paul was “mistaken” in what he wrote, should a pastor ask God to bless a lifestyle that he has already condemned along with idol worshipping, stealing, drunkenness, slandering, murdering, slave trading and perjury?

If a pastor wishes to ask God to bless a gay relationship, should he also be able to ask God to bless the relationship between a married man and his mistress? Should a pastor be willing to ask God to bless the “ministry” of a prostitute who brings comfort and pleasure to her lonely, middle-aged customers whose wives don’t understand them? Should the pastor ask God to bless a gang of thieves who sell stolen merchandise to the poor claiming that it is a ministry? I can imagine their ad campaign, “We Steal, You Save.”

On the other hand, should Christians insult or attack those who live a private lifestyle that Scripture frowns upon? No. Should we expect or demand that non-Christians live a Christian life? No.

Imagine that your neighbor is an observant Jew who keeps kosher and observes the seventh day sabbath. Should he condemn you for mowing your lawn on Saturday or for eating pork? No, because he doesn’t expect you, a non-Jew, to live like a Jew. But if you did convert to Judaism, should you try to get the congregation to accept your lifestyle of eating pork, working on the Sabbath, and ignoring the holy days observances? If they tried to discipline you, would you call them narrow-minded, hateful, or “porkphobic”?

The Apostle Paul urged the leadership of the church in Corinth to discipline a member of the Corinthian Church because he was in an open relationship with his fathers’ wife (I Cor. 5:12-13). He concluded his comments with, “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.”

Paul didn’t have any authority to discipline those outside the church. Nor did he expect non-Christians to live by the same standards as Christians. The statement, “Are you not to judge those inside?” suggests to me that church members were to be disciplined, in love, rather than claiming that love requires them to ignore blatant sins in the church.

Paul didn’t hate the sinful church member. He didn’t choose to close the doors to some of His flock. He didn’t discipline anyone to hurt them. He did it to protect the rest of the church from his influence and to bring him to repentance, which apparently is what happened. “Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him” (2 Cor. 2:7-9). Disciplining a fellow Christian living in sin is not a hateful act, condoning the sinful lifestyle can be. God disciplines his children because he loves them. Heb. 12:6-7 “because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children.”

Paul preached the Gospel to non-believers. Only when they became Christians did he have the authority to hold them to Biblical standards of behavior. He kept his criticism of sinful behavior focused on members of the church, not society at large.

When Jesus met with the woman caught in adultery, in John 8:10-11, he asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus didn’t close the door to anyone. He offered unconditional love to all, but out of his love for them, he judged their behavior and disciplined them.

The Apostle Peter wrote, (I Peter 3:15), “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.”

Since our views should come from Scripture, we should refer to Scripture, when explaining our beliefs. Rather than saying, “Well, I feel that. . .” you might say, “It is my understanding that in every passage in Scripture that mentions homosexual behavior, it is not condoned or celebrated, it is condemned.

This explanation is not an attack on the individual himself, but on the behavior.” And most people would agree that there are some forms of behavior, such as murder, rape, stealing, domestic abuse and drunkenness that are wrong.

Some people may have a predisposition towards gay attraction, much as others have a predisposition towards violence, greed, or drunkenness. But predisposition doesn’t excuse the behavior. Some people just have to work harder than others to be patient, non-violent, honest or sober. Shouldn’t the church be helping them to live a godly life rather than encouraging them to do otherwise? Isn’t that how they would respond to those who are abusing their spouses, killing themselves with illegal drugs and alcoholism, hurting others with their stealing and slandering?

To discourage a homosexual lifestyle is not being homophobic any more than not supporting murder, criminal or drunkenness makes one “murder phobic” or “crime phobic”, or “alcohol phobic.” Nor does it make one narrow-minded or hateful.

The church is told to go into all the world, preach the Gospel, make disciples, baptize, and teach. The focus of our message to non-believers is the presentation of the Gospel, not the imposition of church discipline. But once a person becomes a Christian, he is to mature and live a more Christian life, rather than insist that the church accept the lifestyle of the world.

Paul wrote in Rom. 12:1, “Do not be conformed to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” The mind is renewed by studying the Bible to come to think as God thinks. The church should be changing the people rather than the people changing the church.

Either scripture is inspired by God and our understanding of it is correct in teaching that unrepentant homosexual practice is among the sins that keeps people out of the Kingdom of God, or gay activists are correct that disapproval of their lifestyles is unjust. These positions are mutually exclusive.